Sexuality.

Gender identity.

These are three very confusing words. People see sexuality and gender identity as a set thing. In fact, you can be a lesbian at 16 but realise you're bisexual 3 years later. This is because sexuality is fluid; you can feel heterosexual at first, and then gay or lesbian next. You can realise all along you were bisexual, or pansexual, or even still heterosexual.

Don't let other people define your sexuality but don't let your sexuality define you, either.

If you're attracted to boys one day but girls the next day, that's normal. If you decide you aren't attracted to any gender, that's normal. If you decide you're attracted to every gender, that's normal. It's your sexuality, it's part of who you are, and it's perfectly normal.

Your gender identity can also be confusing, but it's nothing to worry about! Despite what a lot of people think, there are far more than two genders. To list some, there are cisgender males, cisgender females, transgender males, transgender females and non binary genders, gender-fluid (which means you can feel male one day and then female the next).

 

If you do have concerns about your gender, for example that you were born male and feel female, don't worry. Stay calm and think about it a lot, over a long time period. Don't rush into anything, make sure you're certain and allow yourself plenty of time to reach a decision.

Just like sexuality, this is also fluid; you can feel male for a long period of your life and then feel non binary. Don't worry if your gender identity changes - if you're comfortable with who you are, then it doesn't need to be a problem for anyone else.

 

If you've made your decision and you're sure, there are options out there to help you out. Coming out to your parents/guardians is an important first step. You'll feel much less worried and "secretive" once you do. If you're not sure you could, try talking to Childline about how to approach the situation. If you're over 18, or want more specific advice, have a chat with the LGBT Foundation. Both of these sites have free chat resources (online live chat or freephone number).